Sirs High and Mighty, Sirs of High Chairs, Sirs of The-Citadels-of-Knowledge, Sirs with PhD’s and DSc’s…and “networked” Multi-Tasking Madams of Opportunity, and Linear Madams with High-Ambitions, and Madams with and without lipstick…and my fellow Virtual Monkeys(S.Seraph excluded – for SS(not Nazi) knows too much LISP)…my salute to you all…
I, a random fool and being unable to complete primary school is quite glad of your HIGH company and sophisticated insights…though, I am in no way able to decipher the long-long insightful and futuristic words that you Sirs and Madams use…it is not your fault…but mine!
It was my dream (all being depended on chance) to become a PhD…but then again the “image of a silent university office with rude secretaries” is quite unbearable…and I being a random fool and the by-product of noise – I am in no way able to master the art and craft of the “random use of borrowed knowledge” and the more cunning and artful craft of statistical jugglery.
And Sirs - myself being a random fool and with just primary school education was unable to understand the limitations of inferential statistics and stochastic calculus and was fooled by it to such an extent - about 15 months ago I lost 90% of what I had – and I contemplated suicide…it seems the accumulated wisdom of the common herd is far more superior to intellectual jugglery on paper and financial simulations with C++…as of now, nobody can beat them from air-cooled confines…nobody with their super-complicated…what they call them…I forget these hard sounding words…wait…I kept a note of the words…
…yes, I got the note – my cat likes to play with it…there’re the engineering GODS using their DSP and their MESA and their momentum functions and their Hilbert transforms and their sinewave indicators and their finite impulse filters and infinite impulse filters, and they also have methods for removing lag. And there is the Nerd and his brother Techie - confident like the Babylonians – they come with their Neural Networks, the masters of curve-fitting with no predictive capabilities…till today my cat haven’t seen any neural network model that can perform well on out-sample tests…and they lecture you endlessly over what they call machine learning and statistical pattern recognition and so many other hyper-complicated things which I can’t even pronounce properly…and what happens…all these GODS are crushed by the common herd in no-time…the mass mania beats all these super-confident PhD’s and DSc’s…no model can overcome the long-tailed events…
Yes, Sirs and Madams – I know what you are trying to tell me – that I don’t have proper knowledge of statistics…you are absolutely correct learned Sirs and Madams…but methinks Myron Scholes[Noble Prize Winner for the famed Black-Scholes model(assumes a Normal Distribution of tick data…this is the model’s weakness)] and Robert Merton(Nobel Prize Winner) along with the 25 other GODS at LTCM knew a little bit of statistics…in 1998 they lost $4.6 billion in just 4 months…the most fatal day was when they dropped $500 million in one day…now, these people knew quite a bit of statistics and PROBABILITY…
Someone – somewhere on facebook rebuked me for using the word CHANCE…he said that only simple and ignorant fellows use the word CHANCE…I agreed with him because he was a holder of PhD and he uses extremely hyper-complicated language which I fear very much as being an ignorant being – I am in no way able to decipher their cryptic meaning!
CHAOS umpire sits,
And by decision more embroils the fray
By which he reigns: next him high arbiter
CHANCE governs all. – John Milton
Now Sirs and Madams, you will perhaps rebuke me for the “random use of borrowed knowledge”…but then again people like you – Scientists and Super-scientists – you shouldn’t have a rigid opinion as to any matter.
We are humans…and the propensity of humans to give a cause to any effect is intrinsic…but nothing in this Universe happens at will – everything is just by chance! Someone becomes an overnight star – and then – oh I worked hard – I did this – I did that – I slept with my cat – washed the donkeys – fried the frogs…and the media just plays it on to the common psyche…we actually mistake CHANCE for ABILITY!
We humans want our SUPER-STARS…we just can’t believe that a thing happens by chance…scientists – super-scientists or a sweeper – everybody is immune to it. And as Petronius said, “Suam habet fortuna rationem”…we want chance to have a reason…how can this fucking “CHANCE” be without reason!
Who is Olinto De Pretto? A footnote in history! Not a super-star…but was he less SKILLED than EINSTEIN?…½mv² == mc²…but then again – Einstein is a super-star – but only a GENIUS of CHANCE!
There’s one man who is very unlike the rest of us humans – and he is George Soros! I love this man! He might be a multi-billionaire but he is so humble – never superconfident! A fanatic fan of Karl Popper – this man always talks about how infallible he is and how his rise was just the result of chance! He doesn’t put in any tomato-potato-donkey-cat hard work theory of his success!
And on the other hand we have the great and mighty and hyper-confident Dr. Aubrey De Grey, PhD. ( and Sirs and Madams, he is not to be taken on account of any cause or effect – in any lesser light than the great-great Dr. Henry Jekyll M.D., D.C.L., L.L.D., F.R.S., &c., of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde fame) Now, this man – Dr. Grey - always a-rockin, seems - as if somehow, by some clever contraption has got the Lady Fortuna belted under his shirt and is standing on the Fountain of Knowledge!
As to the point about Ma’am A (Andrea) - you, Sirs and Madams might object as to why I’m wasting my time…you might further object that I am from a very low-station of life – a Junior to the Assistant of the Failed Junior Junk Bond Arbitrageur – and where she is – a highly accomplished and glittering neuro-scientist. But, I would like to point out a fact to you, esteemed Sirs and Madams. The point is that I have roughly about 0.00000000003% chance of getting her. So, with that in mind and hoping to acquire the blessings of the Greek goddess Tyche – I will try my best. But, please don’t be jealous so quickly, Sirs and Madams. There is only a remote possibility. I better count pebbles on the bank of the nearby river Borak – will be a better use of my time.
And Sirs and Madams, kindly oblige me with your gratuitous donations in the form of chilly-hot-corrosive and sophisticated praises in the comment box below – but please do so with a little kindness. I will remember to collect them with all haste.
And lastly, Sirs and Madams – I am extremely sorry to disturb you in your profound futuristic contemplations, including, but not limited to this - our Multi-Universe!
PS: My friend – an old beggar has arrived now for a game of chance with me – we will play – take a few puffs of opium – and then play again – the game of LIFE itself!
PPS: Bye from an ignorant and foolish gambler.
Double-Long-PPS: There is a 99.9% chance that I maybe wrong in my thinking!
Another PPPS: The song and this comment have r = +1 and both of these are the result of just CHANCE…and so, they make no sense just as like life - without any meaning - sense or purpose - just by chance! So, Sirs and Madam – nothing in this comment is to be taken with any seriousness from the corners of your spectacled-eyes!
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And now here's a song dedicated to the multi-tasking Ma'am Anny (Andrea Kuszewski)...this lady is just awesome - G+, Twitter, Facebook, Klout, etc...wow!
This song is a remix(My First Try) of a Hindi song from 1970 ( me and my cat weren't even born then, but we both think sometimes about the beautiful people and minds from that period - all passed into meaninglessness - they were also like us - same types of emotions - same types of dreams!!!) - Yeh Shaam Mastani from the movie "Kati Patang'! Here is the orginal song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sZg4EUB3IM
Contraptions Used for making the remix:::
1. FL Studio 9 (cracked version)
2. Guitar Rig Pro 5
3. DUO Evo Vocal Modeling Auto-Doubler
4. SYBIL Variable Frequency De-Esser
5. Cakewalk A-300PRO 32-Key MIDI Keyboard Controller - a cheap but great product
6. My cat as the lyrics composer...and her rat as the quality controller...that rat had to hear the song about 500 times...poor rat!
Total production time = 48+ hrs...my cat didn't sleep from monday...the drum tracks took more than 16 hrs...the tom fill is still not that punchy...rat and cat - both weren't satisfied - but owing to the the "call of gambling" I couldn't put in any more time...
And the poor quality of the vocals aren't my fault...my cat doesn't know to sing...only knows a little bit about music theory! ( All rotten eggs to be thrown at the cat and not on me)
No. of times rat smoked opium = 17
[Rat suggests the use of Bose QuietComfort™ 3 Acoustic Noise Cancelling Headphones for all kind of audiophiles - great headphones]
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